Save these lines.  They may come in handy some day.

The last thing I want to do is hurt you but it's still on my list.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Evening news is when they start with "Good Evening" and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

Whenever I fill out an application, in the line that says, "in case of emergency call...." I put "Doctor".

I didn't say it was your fault.  I said I was blaming you.

You do not need a parachute to sky dive.  You only need a parachute to sky dive twice.

There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.

You're never too old to learn something stupid.

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.