R.I.P Eydie Gorme

 



Well, I made my first mistake on the farm.

I was talking to Renee and Terrel and there was a box of (what I thought were) crackers on the counter.  Talking a hundred miles a minute, I was shoveling the "crackers" into my mouth...until....Terrel pointed out that I was eating the dog treats.

I told them, if I start to bark they'll know why.

“Wars are poor chisels for carving out peaceful tomorrows.” ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.
— Mindfulness Training (@TrainingMindful) August 10, 2013

Rita and Roger, Carl & Kathy were gone less than two hours and I already had 4 visitors.

The first two were Jehovah's Witness folks.  They didn't stay long! 

Right behind them were Renee and Terrel.  They're busy painting the living room today.  Perfect day for a job like that.  We can have all the windows open.

I don't think I want to do this farm stuff again.

It's too damn cold up here!

I can't believe how much colder it is here than it is in town.  I always said I never wanted to go any farther north than La Crosse.  Now I remember why.

Happy Birthday Rhonda Fleming! She's 90 today.

If you've got an hour to spare, enjoy a full episode of WAGON TRAIN starring Miss Fleming.

Well, here we are.....EE-I-EE-I-OOOO

Green acres is the place for me, and being the farmer that I am, I was up at 3:00.  The Lord and Lady of the manor were still in bed.

Meanwhile, I already lost a dog.  Duke and Chance had their breakfast....Emma was nowhere to be found.  I later discovered she was in bed with the Lord and the Lady.  Those three are, apparently, late sleepers.  4 o'clock in the morning and still in bed.  I can't believe people sleep that late.

The big celebration starts today in Memphis!

What a great photo from Wyoming.

Storm clouds over the Pony Express Trail in #Wyoming. This scene looks like it could have happened 150 years ago. pic.twitter.com/ZL046vYcjF
— US Dept of Interior (@Interior) August 6, 2013

Another shot of Donnie with hair.

As soon as Rita and Roger are out of sight, watch for me in the field.

"He who asks a question is a fool for five minutes. He who does not ask a question is a fool forever." ~ Chinese Proverb #quotes
— Zen Proverbs (@ZenProverbs) August 9, 2013

Since I'm going to be spending a week on the farm, I thought a few farm jokes would be nice.

A cocky State Highways employee stopped at a farm and talked with an old farmer. He told the farmer, "I need to inspect your farm for a possible new road."

The old farmer said, "OK, but don't go in that field." The Highways employee said, "I have the authority of the State Government to go where I want. See this card? I am allowed to go wherever I wish on farm land."

So the old farmer went about his farm chores.

Later, he heard loud screams and saw the State Highways employee running for the fence and close behind was the farmer's prize bull. The bull was madder than a nest full of hornets and the bull was gaining on the employee at every step!!

The old farmer called out, "Show him your card!!"

 

 

John, a jogger, is running down a country road and is startled when a horse yells at him, 'Hey-come over here buddy.'

 

John is stunned but still runs over to the fence where the horse is standing and asks, 'Were you talking to me?'

The horse replies, 'Sure was, man I've got a problem. I won the Kentucky Derby a few years ago and this farmer bought me and now all I do is pull a plough and I'm sick of it. Why don't you run up to the house and offer him $10,000 to buy me. I'll make you some money because I can still run.'
John thought to himself, 'Wow, a talking horse.'

Dollar signs started appearing in his head. So he runs to the house and the old rancher is sitting on the porch.

John tells the farmer, 'Hey man I'll give you $10,000 for that old broken down nag you've got in the field.'

The farmer replies, 'Son you can't believe anything that horse says. He's never even been to Kentucky.'

 

Two farmers are talking to each other over a  gate when one turns to the other and asks, 'Do your cows smoke?

No, answered the first one, surprised.
Well then your cowshed must be burning!

 

Farmer Dan got into his Toyota 4-by-4 and drove to the neighboring ranch and knocked at the door. A young boy, Eddie, aged about 10, opened the door.

'Is yer Dad home?' Dan demanded.
'No, sir, he ain't,' Eddie replied. 'He went into town.'
'Well, then,' inquired Dan, 'is yer Mom here?'
'No, sir, she ain't here neither. She went into town with Dad.'
'How about your brother? Is he here?'
'He went with Mom and Dad,' explained Eddie patiently.

Farmer Dan stood there for a few seconds, shifting from one foot to the other and muttering to himself.

'Is there anything I can do fer ya?' Eddie asked politely. 'I know where all the tools are, if you want to borrow one. Or maybe I could take a message fer Dad.'
 'Well, it's difficult,' answered Dan uncomfortably, 'I really wanted to talk to yer Dad. It's about your brother getting my daughter pregnant.'

Eddie considered for a moment, 'You would have to talk to Pa about that,' he finally conceded. 'If it helps you any, I know that Pa charges $600 for the bull and $60 for the hog, but I really don't know how much he gets fer Howard.'

Local: ‘Just 4 Fun’ Friday arts fest at Pump House today: The city of La Crosse Arts Board and the Pump House ... http://t.co/ydGgWnwjk8
— LaCrosse Tribune (@LaCrosseTribune) August 9, 2013

Looking in the mirror, this morning, I thought to myself....

I COULD SURE USE A FACELIFT

Attention Beer Drinkers!

If you're thirsty, you might want to CLICK HERE to check out 6 Wisconsin Breweries you haven't visited yet.  One of them is right here in La Crosse!  That sounds like more fun than going up north to sit in the woods, for a week, hoping to see a bear....but, what do I know?

Another beautiful day in the neighborhood.

There is some rain around Albert Lee and Austin, this morning.  It's moving due east so it should pass south of us if it holds together.  Meanwhile, it's going to be another sunny day with highs in the upper 70's and tomorrow should be the same.  The best chance for rain will be Sunday and Sunday night and we could use the moisture.

At least I won't have to milk any cows.

We're leaving town, today, for a week in the country.  Rita, Roger, Carl and Kathy are heading up north for a week to do whatever people do up north.

In the meantime,  I'm going to stay on the farm and tend to the dogs, ponies, cats, pigeons, parakeets and any other animals that might wander through the fields.

I'll share all the fun with you, every day, right here on this blog.

A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem.  A small child in the class replied, "They couldn't get a babysitter."

Think you can get a Big Mac anywhere you go?

Think again, McNuggets breath.  There are 105 countries around the globe that are actually surviving without the golden arches.

But, not to worry kids.  Ronald McDonald is selling more than 75 hamburgers every second in the rest of the countries around the world.  He's not, however, selling any to me.  Sorry Ronald.

 

 

Tennessee Williams wrote "Cat on a hot tin roof".

Duane wrote about his little kitten, Boots, who got up on the roof and couldn't get down.

"Boots was missing and I looked under the decks and everywhere else.

The other kittens finally led me over to the ash tree in back and then I could see Boots on the roof.  I coaxed her to jump over to the tree.  She made it, came down and sauntered off with her groupies in tow."

Tonight's Cruise Night at Rudy's Drive-In (Sparta) is a Cruise Night with a twist. Join us & vote for your... http://t.co/JYPISX1Uqk
— Rudy's Drive In (@rudysdrivein) August 8, 2013

Mel Tillis is 81 today!

Camel Questions

A mother and baby camel are talking one day when the baby camel asks, "Mom why have I got these huge three toed feet?" The mother replies, "Well son, when we trek across the desert your toes will help you to stay on top of the soft sand". "OK" said the son.

A few minutes later the son asks, "Mom, why have I got these great long eyelashes?" "They are there to keep the sand out of your eyes on the trips through the desert", "Thanks Mom" replies the son.

After a short while, the son returns and asks, "Mom, why have I got these great big humps on my back??" The mother, now a little impatient with the boy replies, "They are there to help us store water for our long treks across the desert, so we can go without drinking for long periods."

"That's great mom, so we have huge feet to stop us sinking, and long eyelashes to keep the sand from our eyes and these humps to store water.

But Mom", "Yes son?" "Why the hell are we living in the Bronx Zoo?"

Forget Zucchini. We're celebrating the camel today!

Finally figured out what a coworker was referencing when he says, "Guess what day it is?" http://t.co/Spt9t7JmEY #humpday #camel
— Ryan Ozawa (@hawaii) August 7, 2013

Thanks to Ron for sending this. I love it!

This is actually pretty interesting......I think I have a new respect for camels now!  : )  Of course they don't mention the spitting thing that goes on with them!

 

 

 

The Creator's Camel You will be utterly amazed at it. I hope you take the time to read it. This is the most fascinating, awesome thing I’ve ever read about an animal,   This is incredible!!  A great lesson for all of us. The Amazing Camel and Its Creator (From Moody Press) If you ever doubted that God exists,Meet the Very Technical, Highly Engineered Dromedary Camel. When I'm hungry, I'll eat almost anything- A leather bridle, a piece of rope, my master's tent, Or a pair of shoes. My mouth is so tough a thorny cactus doesn't bother it. I love to chow down grass and other plants That grow here on the Arabian desert I'm a dromedary camel, the one-hump kind That lives on hot deserts in the Middle East . My hump, all eighty pounds of it, Is filled with fat-my body fuel -- not water as some people believe. My Mighty Maker gave it to me because He knew I wouldn't always be able to find food As I travel across the hot sands. When I don't find any chow, my body automatically Takes fat from the hump, feeds my system, And keeps me going strong. This is my emergency food supply. If I can't find any plants to munch, my body uses up my hump. When the hump gets smaller, it starts to tip to one side. But when I get to a nice oasis and begin to eat again, My hump soon builds back to normal. I've been known to drink twenty-seven gallons of water in ten minutes. My Master Designer made me in such a fantastic way that In a matter of minutes all the water I've swallowed Travels to the billions of microscopic cells that make up my flesh. Naturally, the water I swallow first goes into my stomach. There thirsty blood vessels absorb and carry it to every part of my body. Scientists have tested my stomach and found it empty Ten minutes after I've drunk twenty gallons. In an eight hour day, I can carry a four hundred pound load A hundred miles across a hot, dry desert And not stop once for a drink or something to eat. In fact, I've been known to go eight days without a drink, But then I look like a wreck. I lose 227 pounds, my ribs show through my skin, And I look terribly skinny. But I feel great! I look thin because the billions of cells lose their water. They're no longer fat. They're flat. Normally my blood contains 94 percent water, just like yours. But when I can't find any water to drink, The heat of the sun gradually robs a little water out of my blood. Scientists have found that My blood can lose up to 40 percent of its water, And I'm still healthy. Doctor's say human blood has to stay very close to 94 percent water. If you lose 5 percent of it, you can't see anymore; 10 percent, you can't hear and you go insane; 12 percent, your blood is as thick as molasses And your heart can't pump the thick stuff. It stops, and you're dead. But that's not true with me. Why? Scientists say my blood is different. My red cells are elongated. Yours are round. Maybe that's what makes the difference This proves I'm designed for the desert, Or the desert is designed for me. Did you ever hear of a design without a Designer? After I find a water hole, I'll drink for about ten minutes And my skinny body starts to change almost immediately. In that short time my body fills out nicely, I don't look skinny anymore, And I gain back the 227 pounds I lost. Even though I lose a lot of water on the desert, My body conserves it too. Way in the beginning when my Intelligent Engineer made me, He gave me a specially designed nose that saves water. When I exhale, I don't lose much. My nose traps that warm, moist air from my lungs And absorbs it in my nasal membranes. Tiny blood vessels in those membranes take that back into my blood. How's that for a recycling system? Pretty cool, isn't it. It works because my nose is cool. My cool nose changes that warm moisture in the air From my lungs into water. But how does my nose get cool? I breath in hot dry desert air, And it goes through my wet nasal passages. This produces a cooling effect, and my nose stays as much as 18 degrees cooler than the rest of my body. I love to travel the beautiful sand dunes. It's really quite easy, because My Creator gave me specially engineered sand shoes for feet. My hooves are wide, and they get even wider when I step on them. Each foot has two long, bony toes with tough, leathery skin between my soles, My feet are a little like webbed feet. They won't let me sink into the soft, drifting sand. This is good, because often my master wants me to carry him one hundred miles across the desert in just one day. (I troop about ten miles per hour.) Sometimes a big windstorm comes out of nowhere, bringing flying sand with it. My Master Designer put special muscles in my nostrils that close the openings, keeping sand out of my nose but still allowing me enough air to breathe. My eyelashes arch down over my eyes like screens, keeping the sand and sun out but still letting me see clearly. If a grain of sand slips through and gets in my eye, the Creator took care of that too. He gave me an inner eyelid that automatically wipes the sand off my eyeball just like a windshield wiper. Some people think I'm conceited because I always walk around with my head held high and my nose in the air. But that's just because of the way I'm made. My eyebrows are so thick and bushy I have to hold my head high to peek out from underneath them. I'm glad I have them though. They shade my eyes from the bright sun. Desert people depend on me for many things. Not only am I their best form of transportation, but I'm also their grocery store. Mrs. Camel gives very rich milk that people make into butter and cheese. I shed my thick fur coat once a year, and that can be woven into cloth. A few young camels are used for beef, but I don't like to talk about that. For a long time we camels have been called the "ships of the desert" because of the way we sway from side to side when we trot. Some of our riders get seasick. I sway from side to side because of the way my legs work. Both legs on one side move forward at the same time, elevating that side. My "left, right left, right" motion makes my rider feel like he is in a rocking chair going sideways. When I was six months old, Special knee pads started to grow on my front legs. The Intelligent Creator knew I had to have them. They help me lower my 1000 pounds to the ground. If I didn't have them, My knees would soon become sore and infected, And I could never lie down. I'd die of exhaustion. By the way, I don't get thick knee pads because I fall on my knees. I fall on my knees because I already have these tough pads. Someone very Great thought of me and knew I needed them. He designed them into my genes. It's real difficult for me to understand . . . How some people say I evolved into what I now am. I'm very technical, highly engineered, dromedary camel. Things like me don't just happen-- I've been very well planned out!!!

One song....two versions.

"It's my life": Bon Jovi
"It's my Life": Harp Twins

Roundabouts are showing up all over Wisconsin these days.

A couple of interesting things about roundabouts.

• The first roundabout in Great Britain was installed around 1909.
• The use of roundabouts rather than intersections reduces fatal and injury collisions by about 52%.
• They account for a 9% reduction in all crashes.

.....and while we're on the subject of alcoholic beverages.......

Strawberry margaritas count as eating fruit, right?
— Reverend Scott (@Reverend_Scott) August 7, 2013

Duane is not a biker fan.

"Bikers everywhere.  Already two deaths, lots of injuries, DUI's and drug arrests.  I hate the bike rally."

I never laughed at a book so hard in my life!

Reading "Bob & Ray, Keener than most persons", this morning, I came across the story of their recording of a song called, "I'd like to be a cow in Switzerland".  If that isn't an off the wall, funny song title, I don't know what is.  And, guess what!  They sold a lot of copies of the record!!

Leave it to YOU TUBE...believe it or not, they had it and here it is.

Don't you just wonder what they're thinking?

I'm ashamed of Wisconsin. #5 is just NOT good enough.

A Yahoo! article lists the 10 beer drinkingist states in the USA.  You have to realize that I don't drink beer anymore and Rita and Roger don't drink near as much as they used to but that can't, possibly, account for Wisconsin showing up with the 5th highest number of beer drinkers in America.

 

I never thought I'd see the day that we couldn't out-drink any state in the union but, apparently, that day has come.  I would think, if Wisconsin couldn't out-drink any other state it would be Texas that could take the honor but they're much punier drinkers than we are.

 

Here's the Top 10 beer drinking states:

 

#1 North Dakota

#2 New Hampshire

#3 Montana

#4 South Dakota

#5 Wisconsin

#6 Nevada

#7 Vermont

#8 Nebraska

#9 Texas

#10 Main

I wish I would have said that. Love the line!

I have mental illness, but I don't suffer from it.
— CrankyPappy (@CrankyPappy) August 7, 2013

Taco Bell is testing a new breakfast product.

Scrambled eggs and sausage in a waffle taco with syrup on the side.  "Suena bien"!

If you're planning next summers vacation you might want to check out this webpage.

It features the world's 10 most unfriendly cities.  I hate to tell you this but 5 of them are in the U.S.A.

CLICK HERE

Here's some GOOD news today.

Dustin Hoffman "surgically cured" of cancer: http://t.co/0ERYJzrJBV
— Good Morning America (@GMA) August 7, 2013

We're going to have 3 riverboats docked at Riverside Park next summer.

The Julia Belle Swain is returning and will have a permanent home in La Crosse, beginning with the 2014 season.  The boat was built in 1971 and will be completely renovated over the winter.  That's great news.  It's a beautiful boat.

The storms in Minnesota were really violent last night.

2 inch hail pounded the Twin Cities and more than 44 thousand homes lost power across the state.  The insurance adjusters will have a busy day.  There was a lot of hail damage.

Happy Birthday to B. J. THOMAS. He's 71 today.

B. J. was born in Hugo, Oklahoma but grew up in the suburbs of Houston, Texas.  B.J. had a string of hits including "Raindrops keep fallin' on my head" which was featured in the hit movie "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid".  "Raindrops" won an Academy Award for the BEST ORIGINAL SONG OF THE YEAR in 1970 and it hit #1 on the BILLBOARD Hot 100.

"I just can't help believing" wasn't his biggest hit, it reached #9 on the Billboard Charts, but Elvis liked it and recorded it and featured it in his live concerts.

And, most important of all, it was my favorite B.J. Thomas song.

It looks like perfect weather through Saturday.

Lot's of sunshine with highs in the mid-70's.  Who could ask for anything more?

So, you think you had to work hard for a living?

Think again.  It could be worse!

We old folks are connected.

Report: 43% of Internet users aged 65 and older say they use social media. In spring 2009, 13% did. http://t.co/683758DKQs
— Wall Street Journal (@WSJ) August 6, 2013

Most
of our generation were HOME SCHOOLED in many
ways.

 

1. My mother taught me TO
APPRECIATE A JOB WELL
DONE .
"If you're going to
kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning."

2. My mother taught me
RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the
carpet."

3. My father taught me about TIME
TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock
you into the middle of next week!"

4. My father taught me
LOGIC.
" Because I said so, that's
why."

5. My mother taught me MORE
LOGIC .
"If you fall out of that swing
and break your neck, you're not going to the store with
me."

6. My mother taught me
FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case
you're in an accident."

7. My father taught me
IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry
about."

8. My mother taught me about the
science of OSMOSIS .
"Shut
your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about
CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of
your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about
STAMINA .
"You'll sit there until all
that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about
WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went
through it."

12. My mother taught me about
HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million
times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My father taught me the CIRCLE
OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take
you out.."

14.. My mother taught me about
BEHAVIOR
MODIFICATION .
"Stop
acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about
ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in
this world who don't have wonderful parents like you
do."

16. My mother taught me about
ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get
home."

17. My mother taught me about
RECEIVING .
"You are going
to get it from your father when you get
home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL
SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are
going to get stuck that way."

19. My mother taught me
ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you
are cold?"

20. My father taught me
HUMOR.
"When that lawn
mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to
me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO
BECOME AN ADULT .
"If you
don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow
up."

22. My mother taught me
GENETICS.
"You're just like your
father."

23. My mother taught me about my
ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were
born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me
WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll
understand.

 

25. My father taught me about
JUSTICE .

"One day
you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you !"

Put another nickle in...in the nickelodeon.....what's the (music) world coming to?

Since 2000, music sales have dropped 50%.  Maybe it's time to stop rappin' and start playin' real music again!

Let's talk beer.

Did you know? Germany (43,818 acres) is the only country in the world with more farm land dedicated to hops than the US (30,016 acres) #beer
— York Brewery (@YorkBrewery) August 6, 2013

What's the world coming to? Young people no longer drinking beer???

Now I know the world I knew as a kid doesn't exist anymore.  Look at the facts and figures, in this article, and it turns out that young people are no longer ordering a beer when they belly up to the bar!

Beer is losing ground, quickly, as America's favorite beverage.

READ THE STORY HERE

Today is ROOT BEER FLOAT DAY and that makes me think of Rudy's Drive-In.

Fog, sun, and thunderstorms are on the menu, for La Crosse, in the next 24 hours.

The fog will come this morning, before 10.  Clouds will give way to sunshine this afternoon ahead of a cold front that will bring showers and thunderstorms tonight.

The strong front, coming out of Canada, could bring severe weather to Des Moines, Minneapolis and Sioux Falls today.

Do you know where the third tallest structure in the world is?

The tallest structure is, of course, the Burj Khalifa building in Dubai, United Arab Emirates at 2,722 feet.  The second highest is the Tokyo Sky Tree tower in Tokyo, Japan and the 3rd highest structure in the world is the KVLY TV TOWER in  Blanchard, North Dakota!  It stands tall in the flat lands of North Dakota at 2,063 feet high and has been standing there through high winds, storms and blizzards since 1963.

 

You learn something new every day.

I just started reading the new book "Bob and Ray--Keener than most persons".

This great comedy team was together on radio, television and Broadway, for 44 years and it was one of the funniest acts of all time.

Donnie is a big fan of these two funny men and here's one of their great routines on the Johnny Carson Show.

No matter how you look at it, Grandad Bluff in La Crosse along the Wisconsin Great River Road is fantastic! http://t.co/m6LSiNxQbp
— WI Great River Road (@WIGreatRiverRd) August 5, 2013

In honor of International Beer Day, I found something I can laugh at.

Been there.  Done that.

An article in the Wall Street Journal says the future of cable might not include TV channels anymore.

They say cable could become mainly a broadband supplier.

I got mooned by Phobos and Deimos. Here's a pic I took last weekend of the Red Planet's two moons overhead pic.twitter.com/yD9jx9CLkO
— Curiosity Rover (@MarsCuriosity) August 5, 2013

What a gloomy day!

It almost makes me think of that nasty four letter word (Fall).  I guess we're done with the rain for today.  It should be dry until the next system comes through tomorrow night with the possibility of strong to severe thunderstorms.

In the meantime, I can't get fired up about anything today.  I finally laid down and took an afternoon nap.

You know me and airplanes.

I'm about as gung-ho for aircraft and flying as Roger is for the Packers so I could watch this video all day.

I think this one will make you sit up and take notice too.  This is the lovely island of St. Maarten, in the Caribbean, a great destination for a break from winter.

The airport on St. Maarten is virtually on the beach.  You won't believe these landings.  It's quite an experience for the folks who were hoping to spend a "quiet" day on the sand!

I also got a kick out of watching one of the take-off's, toward the end.  It's the company I used to work for.  The Logo says United but it's still the old Continental paint job with the blue tail and globe.  Watch, once he's in the air, he, virtually, climbs STRAIGHT UP to miss the mountains at the end of the runway.

Anybody want to take a flight to St. Maarten?  I do!

I'm so old, I remember when the Dead Sea was just sick…. - Groucho Marx
— Georg Grey (@Georg_Grey) August 5, 2013

The Emerald Ash Borer has invaded Eric and Bert's neck of the woods.  They're in the trees in Watertown's Riverside Park.  Both Dodge and Jefferson counties are now under quarantine.