MY FIRST MISTAKE OF THE DAY

I grabbed the wrong bottle, in the shower, and washed my face with shampoo.  I can tell you one thing. It doesn't work. My face isn't any more "manageable" now than it was before.

YESTERDAY I THOUGHT I HAD SEEN EVERYTHING

I WAS WRONG!
But, after seeing this WOODEN TIES FOR MEN NOW....I think I've seen everything.  I'm trying to think of someplace where I'd like to wear a wooden tie.  Ah, Ha!!  It just came to me.  A wooden tie to go with my wooden shoes when I visit Pella, Iowa.

HEY! HAVE I GOT A DEAL FOR YOU!

We've got "kin" in WYOMING so this story about an upcoming auction caught my eye.  It's at BUFORD, Wyoming, the highest town on Interstate 80 between California and New York.  And, that's not all that makes Buford interesting.

Located between Cheyenne and Laramie, the town has a population of ONE and that one gentleman is retiring and moving out.

The town comes with a good parcel of land, gas station, convenience store and a 3 bedroom home.

It also comes with some of the meanest, coldest, windiest winters in the USA.  So mean that the Interstate gets closed down during the worst of the storms.  But, hey!  The Wild West ain't for no sissys.

The auction starts at noon on April 5.  Opening bid $100,000.

Be there or be a sissy!

I GOTTA SAY IT: THIS MAKES ME SICK

Sarah Burge is called "the human Barbie" because of all the plastic surgery she's had.  She's literally made a career of surgery.

Guess what she gave her 7 year old daughter for christmas.  No.  Don't bother to try to guess.  This is too sick to guess.

She gave that little girl a $10,000.00 voucher for liposuction".  I'll bet that's the first time Santa ever saw THAT on his list.

1941 FRUITCAKE SELLS FOR MORE THAN $500.00!

Now here's a story you want to read.  70 YEAR OLD FRUITCAKE SOLD

They say the fruitcake was vacuum packed and filled with rum.  If I didn't know better, I'd think they were talking about me.

TWO WEEKS TO CHRISTMAS~LET'S GO SHOPPING

A NOTE FROM DONNIE REMINDS OF THE TIME....

This actually happened, one day, at Quillan's.  They had one aisle devoted to nothing but potato chips.  Dill pickle chips, taco chips, cream cheese chips, etc.  I walked up and down that aisle four or five times and I never did find a single bag of potato chips that tasted just like...potato chips.

Anyway, Donnie says.....

"At least Christmas brings a better round of commercials than the relentless medicine and insurance ads that bombard us the rest of the year.  On my way home I heard a car ad for "cheese accoutrements." 

Earlier today I stopped at a coffee shop and ordered green tea.  "Will that be citrus green tea or tropical coconut green tea or China green tips green tea or..."  Excuse me, I interrupt, but can I get just plain green tea?  "I'm not sure we have that."  Now, again, this is right out of Bob & Ray.  In one segment of their restaurant review series they are trying Bernie's Pushcart on the Green, in Central Park.  Bob is reporting Bernie's countless variations on the hot dog, including the "Hot Dog Chateaubriand, for two."  Ray says "I suppose you can also get just the regular hot dog with mustard and relish," to which Bob predictably replies, "No, I don't believe you can."  Once it was a joke; now it's daily life in America."

I'LL BET HE CAN'T DO IT AGAIN

Here's a hard core drinker and one tough Dodge truck.

The driver hit and sheared off a light post and then kept driving for about 2 miles to a bar where he stopped and had another beer.

Rita called, this afternoon, and I couldn't find the phone.  Do you know how frustrating that is?  The phone keeps playing the music, you're running around in circles and can't figure out where the sound is coming from.  I finally did find it but, of course, she had hung up by that time.

Oh!  guess where it was!  Are you ready for this?  I'm not sure I even want to tell you.  On the other hand, you all know how spacy I am so you won't be surprised when I tell you the phone was in my pocket.  Hard to believe but true.

Good old Harold Camping is checking his calculations again.  He's the preacher who said the world would end on May 21.  When it didn't happen he said he made a mistake in the calculations.  He forgot to carry the 1, or something.

He's re-calculated and he's got it right this time.  It will all definitely come to an end tomorrow.

So, that does it.  No need to cover any plants.  Tonight's hard freeze won't make a damn bit of difference since there won't be any tomorrow.  Which means doing a load of laundry this morning will just be a waste of my valuable time.