LOOKS BAD....VERY BAD
DANGEROUS COLD COMING
The weather people say tomorrow through Wednesday could bring us the coldest temperatures we've seen all winter. That's the last thing I wanted to hear.
IT'S A NIGHTMARE ON THE HIGHWAYS
Highway officials are warning people in southwestern Wisconsin and Southeastern Minnesota to stay off the highways. Blowing snow is making it very difficult to see and the drifting snow is causing very low visibility and slippery roads.
Carl and Kathy came in from Rochester this afternoon and Kathy said the driving was terrible. Best to stay where you are!
EVEN THE SNOWMAN CAN'T TAKE IT!
SNOWFALL TOTAL-PAST 24 HOURS
La Crosse 2.30"
Westby 3.1"
Like they say, "It could be worse":
Blizzard warnings for North Dakota tonight. They say this could be the worst storm of the season.
Even the hard rockers get old. VAN Halen celebrates his 59th birthday today!
Tonight's the night for the Grammy Awards. I see some of the older performers like Madonna, Carole King and Paul McCartney will be on the show but most of the younger stars are people I've never heard of. Besides, three and a half hours of acceptance speeches and red carpet foolishness is more than I can handle at my age. I think I'll pass and go to bed.
One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed little Alex standing in the foyer of the church staring up at a large plaque. It was covered with names and small American flags mounted on either side of it.
The six-year old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up, stood beside the little boy and said quietly, "Good morning, Alex."
"Good morning, Pastor," he replied, still focused on the plaque.
"Pastor, what is this?"
The pastor replied, "Well, son, it's a memorial to all the young men and women who died in the service."
Soberly, they just stood together, staring at the large plaque.
Finally, little Alex's voice, barely audible and trembling with fear asked,
"Which service, the 8:00 or the 9:30?"
Sam's Club laying off 2,300 employees. As I noted on Twitter, considering what Wal-Mart pays its employees, there isn't a lot of difference between working and laid off.
You think winter is rough now? Imagine what it was like in the "good old days". (Thanks Ron).
Mount Garfield! Yes, there is a Mt. Garfield near Grand Junction, Colorado and it's quite an impressive mountain. Uncle Garfield would have been pleased. I wonder if Friend has seen this.
Here's a great video from Mt. Garfield. I'll let the younger folks do the climbing.
Today's sermon:
A child was asked to write a book report on the entire Bible. Here is what he wrote;
The Children's Bible in a Nutshell
In the beginning, which occurred near the start, there was nothing but God, darkness, and some gas. The Bible says, “The Lord thy God is one," but I think He must be a lot older than that.
Anyway, God said, "Give me a light!" and someone did.
Then God made the world.
He split the Adam and made Eve. Adam and Eve were naked, but they weren't embarrassed because mirrors hadn't been invented yet.
Adam and Eve disobeyed God by eating one bad apple, so they were driven from the Garden of Eden ..... Not sure what they were driven in though, because they didn't have cars.
Adam and Eve had a son, Cain, who hated his brother as long as he was Abel. Pretty soon all of the early people died off, except for Methuselah, who lived to be like a million or something.
One of the next important people was Noah, who was a good guy, but one of his kids was kind of a Ham. Noah built a large boat and put his family and some animals on it. He asked some other people to join him, but they said they would have to take a rain check.
After Noah came Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Jacob was more famous than his brother, Esau, because Esau sold Jacob his birthmark in exchange for some pot roast. Jacob had a son named Joseph who wore a really loud sports coat.
Another important Bible guy is Moses, whose real name was Charlton Heston. Moses led the Israel Lights out of Egypt and away from the evil Pharaoh after God sent ten plagues on Pharaoh's people. These plagues included frogs, mice, lice, bowels, and no cable.
God fed the Israel Lights every day with manicotti. Then he gave them His Top Ten Commandments.
These include: don't lie, cheat, smoke, dance, or covet your neighbor's stuff.
Oh, yeah, I just thought of one more: Humor thy father and thy mother.
One of Moses' best helpers was Joshua who was the first Bible guy to use spies. Joshua fought the battle of Geritol and the fence fell over on the town.
After Joshua came David. He got to be king by killing a giant with a slingshot. He had a son named Solomon who had about 300 wives and 500 porcupines. My teacher says he was wise, but that doesn't sound very wise to me.
After Solomon there were a bunch of major league prophets. One of these was Jonah, who was swallowed by a big whale and then barfed up on the shore.
There were also some minor league prophets, but I guess we don't have to worry about them.
After the Old Testament came the New Testament. Jesus is the star of The New Testament. He was born in Bethlehem in a barn. (I wish I had been born in a barn too, because my mom is always saying to me, "Close the door! Were you born in a barn?" It would be nice to say, ''As a matter of fact, I was.'')
During His life, Jesus had many arguments with sinners like the Pharisees and the Republicans. Jesus also had twelve opossums. The worst one was Judas Asparagus. Judas was so evil that they named a terrible vegetable after him.
Jesus was a great man. He healed many leopards and even preached to some Germans on the Mount.
But the Democrats and all those guys put Jesus on trial before Pontius the Pilot. Pilot didn't stick up for Jesus. He just washed his hands instead.
Anyways, Jesus died for our sins, then came back to life again. He went up to Heaven but will be back at the end of the Aluminum. His return is foretold in the book of Revolution.
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