MY FIRST CRISIS OF THE DAY

My normal morning routine is get out of bed, pee, say "good morning" to Thunder, make the coffee, plug the phone in to charge.

All went well until I got to "plug in the phone to charge".  I plugged it in but, instead of getting the "battery is charging" sign I got a message that my "power supply was off".  Never saw that before.  Unplugged the phone, opened it up.  The battery was there and, apparently, "resting in peace".

Here I am.  Haven't been up 10 minutes and I'm already in PANIC MODE.

I decided it was time to read the instructions.  I never read instructions until things start going terribly wrong.  I knew exactly where the instructions were but when I went to get them they weren't there.  I went through every drawer in the apartment.

By now Thunder could sense there was a problem so every time I tried to open a drawer he tried to crawl in.  It's things like this that are enough to cause a grown man to cry.

To make a long story short.  It finally dawned on me that there were a couple of "secret drawers" that I hadn't checked.  Sure enough.  there were the instructions.

Of course, as usual, the instructions are written in such a small text it would take the Hubble Telescope for me to read it.  I don't have access to Hubble  so the next best thing would be my reading glasses.  Where, oh where, could those reading glasses be???  Off we go on another hunt with Thunder hot on my heels.  Same routine going through all the drawers.

Finally found the glasses, read the instructions and guess what?  Did you know there's a power button on the cell phone?  I didn't know that because I had never read the instructions.  I pushed that button and the whole phone came back to life.

Now, here's the thing about that.  I have no idea when I pushed that power button, by mistake, and turned the phone off.  So, if you tried to call me you probably left a message.

Now, here's the thing about that.  I have hundreds of messages on my phone and I have never figured out how to retrieve them.  I have read those instructions but that section is written in Greek, which I speak fluently but can't read.  So, I'll never know if you left a message and I'll never know what the message was so all of your efforts were in vain and it would be silly for you to ever leave me a message again.  I will never know what it was...unless I learn to read Greek.