AUGUST 2014

AUGUST 2014

Sunday, January 26, 2014

STAY OFF THE ROADS!

LOOKS BAD....VERY BAD




DANGEROUS COLD COMING
The weather people say tomorrow through Wednesday could bring us the coldest temperatures we've seen all winter.  That's the last thing I wanted to hear.

IT'S A NIGHTMARE ON THE HIGHWAYS
Highway officials are warning people in southwestern Wisconsin and Southeastern Minnesota to stay off the highways.  Blowing snow is making it very difficult to see and the drifting snow is causing very low visibility and slippery roads.

Carl and Kathy came in from Rochester this afternoon and Kathy said the driving was terrible.  Best to stay where you are!

EVEN THE SNOWMAN CAN'T TAKE IT!



SNOWFALL TOTAL-PAST 24 HOURS
La Crosse 2.30"
Westby 3.1"

Like they say, "It could be worse":



Blizzard warnings for North Dakota tonight.  They say this could be the worst storm of the season.


Even the hard rockers get old.  VAN Halen celebrates his 59th birthday today!

 
Tonight's the night for the Grammy Awards.  I see some of the older performers like Madonna, Carole King and Paul McCartney will be on the show but most of the younger stars are people I've never heard of.  Besides, three and a half hours of acceptance speeches and red carpet foolishness is more than I can handle at my age.  I think I'll pass and go to bed.

One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed little Alex standing in the foyer of the church staring up at a large plaque. It was covered with names and small American flags mounted on either side of it.
 

The six-year old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up, stood beside the little boy and said quietly, "Good morning, Alex." "Good morning, Pastor," he replied, still focused on the plaque.

"Pastor, what is this?" The pastor replied, "Well, son, it's a memorial to all the young men and women who died in the service." Soberly, they just stood together, staring at the large plaque.
 
Finally, little Alex's voice, barely audible and trembling with fear asked, "Which service, the 8:00 or the 9:30?"

Sam's Club laying off 2,300 employees.  As I noted on Twitter, considering what Wal-Mart pays its employees, there isn't a lot of difference between working and laid off.
 
You think winter is rough now?  Imagine what it was like in the "good old days".  (Thanks Ron).



Mount Garfield!  Yes, there is a Mt. Garfield near Grand Junction, Colorado and it's quite an impressive mountain.  Uncle Garfield would have been pleased.  I wonder if Friend has seen this.
 
Here's a great video from Mt. Garfield.  I'll let the younger folks do the climbing.

Today's sermon:
A child was asked to write a book report on the entire Bible. Here is what he wrote;

The Children's Bible in a Nutshell

In the beginning, which occurred near the start, there was nothing but God, darkness, and some gas. The Bible says, “The Lord thy God is one," but I think He must be a lot older than that.

Anyway, God said, "Give me a light!" and someone did.

Then God made the world.

He split the Adam and made Eve. Adam and Eve were naked, but they weren't embarrassed because mirrors hadn't been invented yet.

Adam and Eve disobeyed God by eating one bad apple, so they were driven from the Garden of Eden ..... Not sure what they were driven in though, because they didn't have cars.

Adam and Eve had a son, Cain, who hated his brother as long as he was Abel. Pretty soon all of the early people died off, except for Methuselah, who lived to be like a million or something.

One of the next important people was Noah, who was a good guy, but one of his kids was kind of a Ham. Noah built a large boat and put his family and some animals on it. He asked some other people to join him, but they said they would have to take a rain check.

After Noah came Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Jacob was more famous than his brother, Esau, because Esau sold Jacob his birthmark in exchange for some pot roast. Jacob had a son named Joseph who wore a really loud sports coat.

Another important Bible guy is Moses, whose real name was Charlton Heston. Moses led the Israel Lights out of Egypt and away from the evil Pharaoh after God sent ten plagues on Pharaoh's people. These plagues included frogs, mice, lice, bowels, and no cable.

God fed the Israel Lights every day with manicotti. Then he gave them His Top Ten Commandments. 
These include: don't lie, cheat, smoke, dance, or covet your neighbor's stuff.

Oh, yeah, I just thought of one more: Humor thy father and thy mother.

One of Moses' best helpers was Joshua who was the first Bible guy to use spies. Joshua fought the battle of Geritol and the fence fell over on the town.

After Joshua came David. He got to be king by killing a giant with a slingshot. He had a son named Solomon who had about 300 wives and 500 porcupines. My teacher says he was wise, but that doesn't sound very wise to me.

After Solomon there were a bunch of major league prophets. One of these was Jonah, who was swallowed by a big whale and then barfed up on the shore.

There were also some minor league prophets, but I guess we don't have to worry about them.

After the Old Testament came the New Testament. Jesus is the star of The New Testament. He was born in Bethlehem in a barn. (I wish I had been born in a barn too, because my mom is always saying to me, "Close the door! Were you born in a barn?" It would be nice to say, ''As a matter of fact, I was.'')

During His life, Jesus had many arguments with sinners like the Pharisees and the Republicans. Jesus also had twelve opossums. The worst one was Judas Asparagus. Judas was so evil that they named a terrible vegetable after him.

Jesus was a great man. He healed many leopards and even preached to some Germans on the Mount. 
But the Democrats and all those guys put Jesus on trial before Pontius the Pilot. Pilot didn't stick up for Jesus. He just washed his hands instead.

Anyways, Jesus died for our sins, then came back to life again. He went up to Heaven but will be back at the end of the Aluminum. His return is foretold in the book of Revolution.

Saturday, January 25, 2014

UP TO 4 INCHES OF SNOW POSSIBLE TONIGHT.

The latest from the National Weather Service says we can expect 1 to 2 inches of snow tonight which will be followed by dangerously cold weather, again, tomorrow through Tuesday.  We're also looking for a lot of blowing and drifting snow tomorrow afternoon and evening.

I guess I'll run over to Co-op and get a couple of things and then get back and stay in for the rest of the weekend.

One more week of this miserable January.

No!  This doesn't make me thankful I'm living in Wisconsin.  I wasn't there when this picture was taken so I don't care how much they suffered with their snowfall.  I'm here and even one more flake will make me crankier than a restored Model T.


Stephen Colbert's Super Bowl Commercial:
 
WELCOME TO WISCONSIN

 


Look at this meteor that fell over Dallas, Texas Thursday night.  It was caught on a dash cam in a police patrol car.


If you have to fail to learn, I've learned a hell of a lot!
 
 
Are we ready for this, people?  Purple tomatoes??




Train a house cat?  Are you kidding?  I've never seen an act like this.  I was never able to train Thunder to do anything he didn't want to do.  On the other hand, he had me well trained to do anything he wanted me to do.
 
 

Friday, January 24, 2014

WE'RE LOOKING AT A 90% CHANCE FOR SNOW TONIGHT. PROBABLY AROUND AN INCH.

My old home town of Edinburg, Texas is looking at a very cold night, tonight.  They're forecasting a low of 34 degrees and that's much too close to freezing the orange groves and tender plants.  I was living in Edinburg when they had their last freeze so you know how long its been since they've had cold like this.  The average low for Edinburg in January is 51 degrees.
 
What a mess in Houston this morning.  Sure glad I'm not working at the airport anymore.  That's got to be a zoo out there.


Here's the latest advisory from the National Weather Service.
...DRIFTING SNOW OCCURRING THIS MORNING...

SOUTH WINDS OF 20 TO 30 MPH GUSTING TO 30 TO 40 MPH WERE OCCURRING ACROSS PARTS OF SOUTHEAST MINNESOTA...NORTHEAST IOWA AND WESTERN WISCONSIN THIS MORNING.

 THE STRONGER AND GUSTIER WINDS WERE BLOWING ACROSS OPEN COUNTRY AREAS MAINLY ALONG AND WEST OF HIGHWAY 52 AND ACROSS THE RIDGE TOPS.

DRIFTING OF LOOSE SNOW WAS REPORTED ACROSS PORTIONS OF NORTHEAST IOWA...SOUTHEAST MINNESOTA AND ON THE RIDGE TOPS IN WESTERN WISCONSIN...ESPECIALLY ACROSS EAST-WEST ROADS. IF TRAVELING THIS MORNING...BE ALERT FOR THE DRIFTING SNOW AND THE POTENTIAL FOR REDUCED VISIBILITIES. THESE WINDS CAN ALSO CAUSE CONTROL PROBLEMS...ESPECIALLY FOR THOSE DRIVING LIGHT-WEIGHT OR HIGH PROFILE VEHICLES ON EAST-WEST ROUTES.

So, it's Peanut Butter Day.  So what?  It's just one more thing they won't allow me to eat.  For those of you who can still eat it, I hope it gets stuck to the roof of your mouth.

Donnie's report from Dripping Springs.  "Just a light dusting of snow on the ground this morning, but the first we've seen in several years.".  And here's a shot of cars stuck on the road in Austin.




The Bieber jokes continue.



Lots of school closings around Houston (TX) this morning.  Just north of Houston they're forecasting the possibility of one to two inches of snow!  A couple of inches of snow wouldn't close anything around here but a couple of inches of snow in Houston is just about the end of the world. 

Officials are telling folks to avoid travel, as much as possible, because of the deteriorating road conditions around Houston.

Donnie and Linda are enjoying freezing weather too.  A little snow.  A little ice. And, they can't even get out of town.  As of 5:30, this morning, 32 flights had already been cancelled at Bergstrom Airport in Austin because of the weather.

And, then, there are all those "Winter Texans" who are looking out the window, wondering why they came south to get away from the winter weather!
 
But, hey!  The winter story of ALL winter stories comes from Norway.. This is almost too much to believe.
 
 

Guess who's doing the housework!
Rita is not hurting as she recovers from her surgery but the doctor told her to "take it easy" for a few days and she's doing that very well...while Roger does the cooking and cleaning and washing, etc., etc, etc.

This winter is never, ever, ever going to end.



 
HAPPY 73RD BIRTHDAY
TO ONE OF THE ALL TIME GREATS
WE LOVE YOU, NEIL!

 
 
And, there's another birthday to celebrate today.  Yakov Smirnoff is celebrating his 63rd birthday.  Remember Yakov Smirnoff?  He was one funny guy.
 
Yakov has his own theater in Branson, Missouri where he still preforms.  He also teaches comedy at Missouri State University.

 
TAKIN' LIFE EASY
 
 
The Twin Cities are about to get more "citified".  Light rail service, between the two cities, will begin June 14.
 
 
This is MY country!


Thursday, January 23, 2014

BITTERLY COLD WIND CHILLS 25 TO 35 BELOW ZERO FOR LA CROSSE TODAY...1 TO 2 INCHES OF SNOW TOMORROW AFTERNOON.


I don't see the changes.  Do you see the changes?


FIRST LOOK




HOW COLD IS IT?
One of the coldest wind chills recorded by the National Weather Service, this morning, was 41 below near Kasson and Dexter in southeast Minnesota.

VISIT THE SEA CAVES OF APOSTILE ISLANDS
For the first time since 2009, the ice on Lake Superior has made the ice caves accessible and what a beautiful site it must be.  Esquire has a great series of photos of the caves That you can click here to see.
 
 
THESE LOOK TASTY


 
THIS LADY JUST DID A SHOW IN LA CROSSE!
Happy Birthday to Chita Rivera.  81 today!
 

WHY WADDLE?
 
ANOTHER DAY TRAPPED INSIDE
Temperatures will stay below zero all day with wind chills to 30 below.  That's just too much punishment for this old body.
 
 
SORRY TO SEE THIS NEWS ITEM:
They were such a beautiful couple.



 
 
A NOTE FROM DONNIE:
 
"Our forecast for Friday is snow.  For Saturday 70 degrees.  That's Texas in January."
 
SOLD OUT: In case you were thinking of going to the Winter Beer Dabbler in the Twin Cities this weekend......it's 100% sold out. 
 
THERE MUST BE SOMEONE WHO CAN HELP!

 
 
 
A MAN STANDING AT THE BAR:  He says to the bartender, "My wife made me a millionaire."
 
 
"That's interesting", said the bartender.  What were you before?
 
"A Multi-millionaire." answers the man.
 
 LET'S CELEBRATE WITH A PIE!
 
 
HOW THE HELL DOES HE DO IT?





Wednesday, January 22, 2014

RITA DOING OK FOLLOWING HER SURGERY

RITA RECOVERS
I talked to her around 1 and they were expecting to go home about 2.  She had both eyelids operated on so she'll look like a raccoon for a couple of weeks with big black eyes.

THE LATEST FROM THE NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE


BLOWING SNOW HAS CAUSED SOME BRIEF WHITEOUT CONDITIONS ACROSS PORTIONS OF SOUTHEAST MINNESOTA & NORTHEAST IOWA TODAY.

 VISIBILITIES HAVE DROPPED TO A QUARTER OF A MILE AT TIMES & HAVE
CAUSED A NUMBER OF ACCIDENTS IN THIS AREA. THIS BLOWING SNOW WILL CONTINUE THROUGH THE REST OF THE AFTERNOON BEFORE IMPROVING THIS EVENING.

WIND CHILLS OF 25 TO 40 BELOW ZERO WILL OCCUR TONIGHT WITH THE
WORST CONDITIONS OCCURRING IN SOUTHEAST MINNESOTA & NORTHEAST IOWA. WIND CHILLS THIS COLD WILL CAUSE FROST BITE IN 10 TO 30 MINUTES.
  
 
GOTTA GET SOME! GOTTA GET SOME!

I LIKE THIS ONE:



THIS COULD ONLY BE DESIGNED BY A NORWEGIAN:


A GREAT DAY FOR CHEESE
It was on January 22, 1964 that the largest block of cheese the world has ever known was produced in Wisconsin.  The cheese weighed 17.4 tons and was made with 170,000 quarts of milk.  It was made for display at the Worlds Fair in New York.


Whoever invented January should be severely punished.


ANOTHER GOOD DAY TO STAY INSIDE:  Blustery winds will produce wind chills as low as 14 below.  Tonight we'll get down to 11 below and wind chills of 30 below.  For all you folks who complain about the heat in the summer time....I hope you're happy now.


Rita and Roger's Grandson, Jacob, went skiing last weekend.  This is a picture of Jake coming off a 20 foot cliff with, what looks like, only one ski???

Rita said, "I'm so happy I didn't know he was doing this stuff before he sent this picture or I would have "fretted."

I know Rita too well.  Not only would she have fretted, she would have stewed too.
 
 
LOVE THE MEAN KITTY SONG:

 
 
Piper Laurie celebrates her 82nd birthday today.  She was a big star back in the 50's and appeared with some of the biggest stars in Hollywood.
 
Is Piper Laurie her real name?  Of course not.  It was Rosetta Jacobs on her birth certificate but can you imagine Mel Gibson starring in a movie with Rosetta Jacobs?
 

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

JANUARY 21 IS NATIONAL HUGGING DAY

LA CROSSE COLD: Low tonight: 0 High tomorrow: 9

GOOFY WEATHER: Give me a break!  64 in Denver this afternoon!!
 

THE OLD WALKING ON WATER TRICK


90% CHANCE FOR SNOW TONIGHT
SERIOUS COLD
When I got up at 4, this morning, it was 5 below with a wind chill of 21 below.  AT mid-morning, wind chills were 20 to 30 below zero.  The temperature in my apartment was 79 degrees.  I'm staying in my apartment.

Tonight, Mother Nature will sprinkle another 1 to 2 inches of snow on top of the piles of that crap we already have on the ground.

And, what do I find in my email from the Dripping Springs branch of the family this morning?

"Record 78 degrees today.  We, actually, turned on the car A.C."

THAT'S IT.  I'M GOING TO THROW A TANTRUM.
 
If I sound bitter about the weather we're having, let me be clear.  I am.  Enough is enough and I've had enough.

AT 4:00 A.M.

 
 A man walks into the doctors office and says, "Doctor, I think I'm a pair of curtains."

"Pull yourself together, Man" says the doctor.



 
C'MON....HUG ME!
National Hugging Day was started by Rev. Kevin Zaborney of Caro, Michigan.  It's not an official holiday but it's a day that is meant to encourage you to hug your family and friends more often.  I would not, however, encourage you to walk up to some stranger on the street and give them a hug....hugging day or no hugging day!

 

OOPS! OOPS! AND OOPS! AGAIN!!!
This looks like fun.  I'm sorry I missed this flight.

VINTAGE GOLF POSTERS


Monday, January 20, 2014

NO MATTER WHERE YOU ARE, YOUR WEATHER IS BETTER THAN OUR WEATHER IS!

TOO COLD
I did my outside stuff early today and then I came home where I plan to stay until it warms up.  The problem with that plan is that, at my age, I don't know if I have enough time left until it warms up again.  From what they tell me it won't be any time soon.
 
HOW MUCH SHIT
IS TOO MUCH SHIT?
I started a new book, today, by brain scientist and author Jeff Stibel.  He mentioned an interesting statistic which has had my mind in overdrive all afternoon trying to imagine just how awful the smell must have been in New York.
 
He relates that in the early 1800's there were about 200,000 horses in New York City that people needed for transportation.  The city estimated that each one of those horses left, on the streets, about 24 pounds of manure and a quart of urine each and every day.
 
The city was growing so fast that the folks in city hall feared they would need a lot more horses in the next 20 years which would leave the "Big Apple" knee deep in shit.
 
Fortunately, the underground railroads and the automobile came along before the horse problem got that bad.  I keep thinking, however, that what they already had, would have been too much bad for me to take.
 
I wonder how many horses they had in La Crosse in the early 1800's?
 
FLU DEATHS
Two expectant mothers, in Wisconsin, have died from the flu.  Neither one had gotten a flu shot.

COLD WEATHER NO MORE!
I could sure take a day like this right now!


 
 
PENGUIN AWARENESS DAY
Tell me you can look at this face without falling in love!


 WE ARE NOW UNDER A WIND CHILL ADVISORY FROM MIDNIGHT, TONIGHT, TO NOON ON TUESDAY.
 
WE EXPECT WIND CHILLS OF 25 TO 35 BELOW ZERO TOMORROW MORNING.
 
 
 
 
 
BLUE LAVA???
 



 

PARADE
The oldest Martin Luther King Day parade is in Houston.



 
A GOOD FISH STORY
 

 



What do Donnie  Linda and Brad & and Angelina have in common?

They both have a house for sale! 

(Well, they don't really have that in common because Brad has already sold his house.)

 You've seen pictures of Donnie and Linda's house but have you seen Brad and Angelina's?

CLICK HERE AND TAKE A PEEK

Arte Johnson (from Laugh-In) is enjoying a long life.

He's celebrating his 85th happy birthday today!


 
 THE NEW HOSPITAL IS OPEN
They moved about a hundred patients into the new Legacy Building at Gunderson yesterday.  I haven't see the inside of the building, yet, but I have a feeling I, probably, will see it before I die!

Sunday, January 19, 2014

TODAY IS DOLLY'S DAY

MINNESOTA WINTER
If you're sitting on the beach in Honolulu this is a beautiful picture.  If you're sitting on a snowbank in Minnesota it sucks.  If you're sitting on a snowbank in Minnesota and think this is beautiful you're a Norwegian.


WHAT'S THIS?


COLD WEATHER ADVISORY
Temperatures will remain below normal this week with surges of cold air Monday night and Tuesday and, again, Wednesday night and Thursday.

Wind chills will drop into the 20 to 30 below zero range.

TWITTER
My favorite tweet of the morning.




SUPER BOWL ADS
You'll see more of this during the Super Bowl

SUNSHINE
SCIENTISTS SAY THE SUN IS SLEEPING
There's just nothing happening on the face of the sun.  A sleeping sun usually goes along with a bitterly cold winter and if you're in Wisconsin I think you'll agree that this is a bitterly cold winter!
 
As far as I'm concerned, the sooner the sun wakes up, the better!!

HOLIDAYS
A BUNCH OF STUFF TO CELEBRATE TODAY!


HEY!  THIS IS NEAT!
POPCORN IN SLOW MOTION!


 
 
 
 
WEATHER
Better get outside today.  This is the one nice day we're going to see all week.  With a sunny sky, we'll get up to 35 today but don't get all excited.
 
 This is Wisconsin in January.  You're lucky to get one nice day.  By tomorrow our high will be no more than 14 with a 50% chance for more snow and by Tuesday we'll be chilled to the bone again with a high of 4 above. 


 
BIRTHDAYS
Happy Birthday to Dolly Parton!  She's 68 today.  This will always be my favorite Dolly song.

 
FAMILY
 
 
 
ANOTHER HOLIDAY 
 
 
HISTORY
Do you remember what happened in Miami on January 19, 1977?  It was a big event.  It had never happened before and it has never happened since.
 
What was the big event?  It snowed in Miami!!   It also snowed in the Bahamas on the same day and Key West had a few flurries in the early morning hours but it didn't stick to anything.
 
TOO MUCH
This is just too...too...much!  Ashton Kutcher has a two story trailer.  This, in my book, would almost beat out a private plane.  Notice I said...almost.
 
 


FOLDING
MSN had an article on their home page on how to fold a fitted sheet.  They've got to be kidding.  I gave up on that years ago.  I just scrunch it up and squeeze it into the drawer.
 
I keep thinking that there must be something more important to worry about than whether my fitted sheet is wrinkled.  Guess what.  At my age, pretty much everything, good and bad has already happened to me.  Including wrinkled sheets.  I'm just kind of coasting, now, until (as the song says) "the final curtain".

LA CROSSE WEATHER