AUGUST 2014

AUGUST 2014

Monday, February 18, 2013

CONVENTION

Downtown will be a busy place as the ORGANIC FARMING CONFRENCE comes to the LA CROSSE CENTER February 21, 22 and 23.  This is their 24th annual conference that draws thousands of people.

BIRTHDAY

YOKO ONO IS 80 TODAY

ANGER

I'm sorry to see anyone lose their job but it's hard to feel too sorry for the 60 year old man who slapped a 2 year old child (that wasn't his) on a flight from Atlanta to Minneapolis.

I read, this morning, that the man is no longer employed by AGC Aerospace and Defense, Composites Group where he was an EXECUTIVE, no less!  A company spokesman says the mans actions were "offensive and disturbing".

Back in my younger days, when I flew a lot, something like that happening on a flight would have been unthinkable.

Where did we go wrong?  The pent up anger in this country is "troubling" to say the least.

LAW

I find this hard to believe but every once in a while you get emails, or read in the news, about goofy laws that are on the books.  I ran across these Minnesota laws, this morning, that could only have been conceived by a Norwegian.

They say a woman can face up to 30 days in jail for impersonating Santa Clause in Minnesota.  The state has a law that says it's illegal to tease skunks.  And, if you live in Brainerd, and you're a man, the law says you have to grow a beard.

Those have got to be old Norwegian laws.  I know a lot of old Norwegians.  I'll have to ask one if these are legit.

MONEY

So, you think New York and Los Angeles are too expensive to visit and would be even worse to live in.  Think again.

The Economist Intelligence Unit has released this years list of the worlds most expensive cities.  The top five are:

#1 Tokyo
#2  Osaka
#3  Sidney
#4  Oslo
#5  Melbourne

What about New York and Los Angeles?  You have to go WAY DOWN, on the list, until you get to 27 and there they are; L.A. and New York tied as the 27th most expensive cities in the world.

That's why all those foreigners are coming to the USA to take advantage of the "cheap" prices.

Everything is relative!

SHOPPING

ANOTHER CASE OF "SERVICE WITH A SMILE"

Donnie reports, "The young are not to be envied.  So dumb.

I bought a bag of deer corn for $11.47.  As the clerk is turning to the register I say, "I think I have the 47 cents."  "Too late," he replies, "I already rang it up."

First I thought he was joking, then I saw him fishing the coins out of the register.  He could not make the simple calculation in his brain, or maybe he thought that once the machine has been told what is happening, one can't move the money any other way."

JOKES

The funniest Ole and Lena joke I've ever heard:
Lena passed away and Ole called 911. 

The operator said she would send someone out right away. “ Where do you live?”, asked the operator. 

Ole replied, “At da end of Eucalyptus Drive” 

The operator said, “ Can you spell that for me?”

There was a very long pause and finally Ole said, “How bout’ if I drag her over to Oak Street and you pick her up der.”

HOLIDAY

LET'S CELEBRATE!
IT'S NATIONAL
DRINK WINE DAY!

Sunday, February 17, 2013

GOLF

A man got on the bus near a golf course with both of this font pockets full of golf balls.  He sat down next to a beautiful blonde.

The blonde kept glancing over at him and his bulging pockets.  Finally the man explained, "It's golf balls".

The blonde, still looking at him for a few more minutes, finally couldn't contain herself.  She asked, "Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?"

OPRAH

Oprah's California mansion covers 23,000 square feet.

COMPUTERS

A NOTE FROM DONNIE
"A friend reports that a retirement home, out west, has hired a live-in techie.  A young computer geek.  He helps the elderly use computers.

One lady got her first computer at the age of 100!  Another, at 103, has a laptop, an iPhone, an iPad and a Kindle.

Never fear moving into the "home".  You might have better tech service there than you have now.

CROWDS

Willard reports from Houston, "There are so many people in town for the NBA ALL STAR GAME and a lot of them showed up to see the celebrities at the Galleria, last night.

There were so many people they had to close the shopping center because it was filled to capacity.  That's the first time that's ever happened.  Traffic was a nightmare afterwards."

SEASONS

See how the light of the sunrise is just beginning to shine on the refrigerator?  The entire refrigerator will be filled with the light on the first day of spring.  It's my very own Stonehenge.

COLD

Temperatures are in the 20 below zero range over north central Wisconsin this morning.

Forecasters say we could see a glazing of ice in our area tomorrow morning and we might have another inch, or less, of snow by tomorrow night.

Winter ain't over yet!

BUNNIES

Have you seen the stories about the BUNNY INVASION AT THE DENVER INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT?

It seems the bunnies have an appetite for spark plug cables and other car wiring and they're chomping down on the cars parked in the airport parking lot.  Once they're done eating the bill to fix the car can run up to thousands of dollars.

Federal wildlife people are removing 100 bunnies a month but you know how bunnies can multiply.
TODAY IS RANDOM ACTS OF KINDNESS DAY
NORWEGIAN PROVERB:
"If there were no fools, how would we recognize the wise?"
It all comes together.  The medical community has proclaimed Donnie overweight and Dame Edna is, also, fighting a weight problem.  And that leads me to remember that that Dame Edna is celebrating her 79th birthday today.  So, let's celebrate with Dame Edna's thought's on losing weight.
 
A 50/50 CHANCE FOR SNOW AND FREEZING DRIZZLE TOMORROW AND TUESDAY
I think I can live with it.  We're now just a month, 31 days to be exact, from the start of spring.  Just keep thinking, it's gotta get warmer, it's gotta get warmer, it's gotta get warmer......doesn't it?
DONNIE OVERWEIGHT?  Now, that's funny!

He said he has gained 10 pounds since he retired and he, like all the Solbergs, has shrunk an inch in the past 10 years.

He reports, "At my physical exam, the tech who does the weight and measuring, took my added weight and "shrinkage" and calibrated them on a bio-mass wheel and determined that I am right on the line between normal and over-weight."

That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard unless she thinks he might want to take up modeling as a second career.

LA CROSSE WEATHER