DANDILION FIELDS FOREVER

 

DONNIE DID A BIT OF SIGHTSEEING LAST NIGHT

"After talking to you, I drove about the coulees and discovered the House on the Rock Resort.  A first class lodge and golf course.  Later I found a Spring Green municipal course, almost no one on it, and really cheap, so I played 7 holes this evening.

 

Given your weather report, I will aim to visit Wilda at noon and then flee early to La Crosse ahead of storms."


AND SPEAKING OF VIROQUA...
Did you know that there was a time when Viroqua had street cars?

 

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SHIT, I MISSED AGAIN

Here's a joke from Rita and Roger.

CATHOLIC GOLF
A catholic priest and a nun were taking a rare afternoon off to enjoy a round of golf.

The Priest stepped up to the first tee and took a mighty swing.  He missed the ball entirely and said, "Shit, I missed"

The good sister told him to watch his language.

On his next swing, Father missed again.  "Shit, I missed", he said.

"Father, I'm not going to play with you if you keep swearing." said the nun.

The priest promised to do better and the round continued.  On the 4th tee he missed again.  His usual comment followed.


Sister is really mad now and says, "Father John, God is going to strike you dead if you keep swearing."

On the next tee he misses again and, again, he says, "Shit, I missed".

A terrible rumble is heard and a gigantic bolt of lightening comes out of the sky and strikes Sister Marie dead in her tracks.

From above comes a booming voice.  "Shit, I missed again.

ATTENTION CARL

Carl, usually, takes a mid-winter break to golf in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina.  It's one of Americas favorite spots for golf so there are a lot of golf carts in town.

With gas so high, it's tempting to hop on the golf cart to make a quick run to the grocery store and save the gas in the car for longer trips.  Currently, folks in Myrtle Beach are allowed, by law, to travel up to 2 miles from their home on their golf carts but come October 1 the limit will be increased to 4 miles.  Folks, with the carts, are happy about that but would be even happier if it was increased to....say....10 miles!

SMILING TIGER

TIGER WOODS posted a Tweet on TWITTER about 8 o'clock, last night (CDT), saying "Heading home now and I can't stop smiling".  I'll bet he's still smiling this morning.

A BIT OF TRIVIA FROM DONNIE

The holder for the record of the most PGA WINS is not Tiger Woods or Jack Nicklaus.  It's still SAM SNEAD.

DONNIE RECALLS HOLMBY HILLS

Holmby Hills, the Sinatra neighborhood in LA you feature today, is right next to UCLA.  I would occasionally take just two clubs out of the bag and walk over to the par-3 golf course in Holmby.  There, in possibly the most expensive and exclusive neighborhood in America, I could play golf for $3.  That's $3!  The closest golf course to me in Dripping Springs charges $50...and there isn't a movie star to be seen.

The Holmby course rarely had anyone on it but me, and the only people I saw were literally dozens of nannies in the park, caring for the babies of the resident billionaires.

Ah, those were the days!

A GOLF MONTH QUOTE FROM JACK BENNY

"Give me the fresh air, a beautiful partner, and a nice round of golf... and you can keep the fresh air and the round of golf."

By the way, have you ever noticed what golf spells backwards?

This is just for the married golfers.

A guy stood over his tee shot for what seemed an eternity, looking up, looking down, measuring the distance, figuring the wind direction and speed. He was driving his partner nuts. Finally his exasperated partner says, "What's taking so long? Hit the blasted ball!"

The guy answers, "My wife is up there watching me from the clubhouse. I want to make this a perfect shot."

"Forget it, man," said his partner, "you don't stand a snowball's chance in hell of hitting her from here!"

GOLF DATE

There's a sign-up form on the La Crosse Tribune website for the 21st Annual La Crosse Tribune Men's County amateur Golf Championship at Drugans in Holmen on Saturday August 6 and at Cedar Creek in Onalaska Sunday August 7.  I suspect Carl will be among the competitors.

Read more: http://lacrossetribune.com/sports/golf/amateur/article_56382bfc-9383-11e0-8547-001cc4c03286.html#ixzz1QHhw07i9