Speaking about Willard's birthday, Duane said...

"I passed Willard on April 19 at 82."

I feel like such a kid at 74!!

AGE: IT COMES FULL CIRCLE

At 4, success is not peeing in your pants.

At age 80, success is not peeing in your pants.

As Mae would say....."

"You're never to old to become younger."
Mae West.

THE YEARS ARE CATCHING UP TO DONNIE TOO

"I took an afternoon nap (a bad sign in itself).  When I got up, Linda said, "Are you all right?"

"Why?", I asked.

"You look so stooped over", she said.

Sigh.

DEATH

Sorry to hear of the death of MASH star Harry Morgan.  96 years old.

We have a lovely lady who's lived at Elliott Arms for many years.  91 years old.  I came home, the other day, and saw the EMS van at the front door.  She's been having some health problems so they moved her to assisted living for a while to see how that works out.  When you see that dreaded EMS van you know it's one of us old timers going down for the count.

She want's to live to 100.  I hope she makes it.  I, however, go along with what Vesta used to say.  "Who the hell wants to live to be 100"?

"All diseases run into one, old age."~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Art Garfunkel turns 70 today.  And, remember, Peter Noone, the young kid singer with Herman's Hermits?  He hits 64 today.

I'm going to quit reading this birthday calendar.  It just makes me feel older than I already am.

By the way, when I get out of bed, in the morning, my joints are so stiff I can hardly walk for the first two hours.  I suppose you're going to tell me that's another "perk" of living in the "golden years".

LET'S HEAR IT FOR THE NUT!
They're loaded with energy, filled with antioxidants, vitamins and minerals....Oh! Oh!  One of the minerals they're loaded with is potassium.

Potassium is great for controlling heart rate and blood pressure.  Alas, you have to get rid of excess potassium or it will settle in your bones and turn them to mush.

If your kidneys are failing, your body can't get rid of that extra potassium and mushy bones suck which means no blueberry walnut pie for me.

Another one of the perks of living in your "golden years".

NOW I REALLY FEEL OLD BUT I'M HOLDING UP!

I see Brett Farve was born on this date in 1969.  1969??

On the day he was born I was already 29 and pushin' 30!

Here he is, body all achin' and wracked with pain and he's still a child.

Hey!  It may not have been from football but I've been knocked down, fallen down, been hit by cars, spent a little time in jail, been through forest fires, floods, hurricanes and a tornado.  AND, I've lived 29 more years than he has.

When you look at it that way, my body has held up pretty damn good!

I HAD FORGOTTEN ALL ABOUT RONA BARRETT

That's not a good sign. She's celebrating her 75th birthday today which means she's only four years older than I am. That makes me wonder. If I've forgotten her at 75, how many people have forgotten me at 71? I guess it doesn't matter. I've already forgotten the people I talked to yesterday. I've also forgotten the point I was trying to make when I started typing this.

I did remember, however, that today is the anniversary of the....

THE GREAT CHICAGO FIRE

which began on October 8, 1871. 4 square miles of the city were destroyed, 90,000 were left homeless, 250 were killed and Mrs. O'Learys cow received a severe spanking.

YOU'RE ONLY AS OLD AS YOU LOOK

RAQUEL WELCH is celebrating her 71st birthday today.  She looks a hell of a lot better than I do.  I guess it's true.  Life is not always fair.

By the way, BOB NEWHART turns 80 today.  He looks better than I do too.

BIG BLOCK PARTY ON PEARL STREET TONIGHT

It's part of this weekends Bicycle Festival and it sounds like fun but it doesn't start until 4:30 and will go far into the night.  That's out of the question for an old man who is ready for bed by 6 PM.

There's going to be a lot of live music with three bands playing throught the evening.  Sometimes I wish I was 21 again. Then there are other times when I'm glad I'm not.

TIME MARCHES ON

How could I forget about Mitzi Gaynor?  Hey!  I forget about people who I met 5 minutes ago so, I guess, it should have come as no surprise.  In any event, I just saw that Mitzi is celebrating her 80th birthday today.

Also, Gladys Knight turns 69 today and I'm sure her "Pips" aren't far behind.

AGE

I love the poll Beloit College does, every year when they ask the incoming class of freshmen about their view of the world.  Nothing can make you feel more ancient than hearing that these kids were mostly born in 1993 so they were just a twinkle in their parents eye when River Phoenix and Frank Zappa died.  O. J. Simpson means nothing to them.  Few will know who he was.  Some might remember hearing he was accused of some crime.  And, the stars of "Cheers" would be to them as Rudolph Valentino is to me.  ANCIENT HISTORY.

Here's the mystery of the day:

Rita is turning 65 next month so she called Social Security to make an appointment to sign up, or whatever it is you do.  It's been so long I can't remember anything I had to do when I was 65.  I don't even remember what I had to do yesterday.  Good thing she called.

Seems as though, back in 1984, someone changed her middle name from Jane to Jean.  Now she'll have to show up with birth certificate, passport and anything else she has that might prove she is who she says she is.  That might not be all that easy.  I'm not even sure she is who she says she is.

Now, she's in a dither wondering who, on earth, would go to Social Security and change her name.  I'm convinced it's a typo.  A clerical error.  Of course,  you'll never get the government to admit they made a mistake.

By the way, I'm not so sure the government is who they say they are either.

Donnie sent pictures on this historic day in Panama.

This is the old Officers Club in the Canal zone.  We enjoyed our cocktails on the lower porch.  A perfect place to watch the ships going through the canal.  And the other is of Rita, Donnie and me as we looked 39 years ago.  I haven't changed a bit.  The other two have really aged.

OOPS! WATCH THE TYPO'S!

Thanks to whoever caught the error regarding Mick Jaggers age.  In the early morning hours, I typed 63 instead of 68.

HEAT DEATHS

The latest count shows three people died as a result of our recent heat wave in Wisconsin.  The ages of the victims ranged from 65 to 82.  Obviously, old age and heat do not mix.

HERE'S WHAT I LEARNED FROM THE BBC TODAY

By the time we reach 80 our brain has lost 15% of its original weight.  All the time I thought I was losing my memory and now I know why.  My brain is getting smaller.  This is not good as it was never that big to begin with.

FATHER TIME

I watched a Seinfeld re-run this evening.  I noticed on the closing credits that the show first aired in 1997.  Can you believe that?  It was 17 years ago.  I'm thinking the Seinfeld show was just a couple of seasons back and here there are kids getting getting ready to graduate from high school next year who don't know Seinfeld from a day without a cell phone.  I want those kids to really, really, really enjoy that youth because you blink and it's over!